Henlo. 💙 I thought I wanna go different approach on what I wanna post here since I plan on bi-monthly update on this blog at least. While I would like to put up recent arts and other moments, I also want tog ive myself self reflection on my own future. It's been lingering my mind and I think I should been said about it earlier too.
The yapping session is wall of texts about my current thoughts because art alone doesn't seem to convey much how I've been going through lately.
There's gonna be little surprise in the end so feel free to read this post.
Recently the younger work colleagues of mine resigned from the part-time job I'm currently working on and my assumption was just they found the better opportunity, even though I know the truth behind the work gossip itself. I usually ignore those words because I don't want to get involved both actively and passively and I ended up minding my own business to keep up the bills.
Despite all that, I know I wanted to "escape" as well.
The sudden resentment in my current work place is probably I'm still staying there working expecting significant changes while I'm focusing on doing art related stuffs (be it personal works or commissions). I was reflecting how much has changed since I decided to stay a bit longer to be more prepared.
But barely anything changed. I wanted to live committing with arts alone and I missed participating artist alleys again. I had to depleted some of my savings just for essentials and bills. I kinda filled with regret at this point, hoped I could see the sign earlier before I decided on taking the job.
I really don't know about now. I'm still thinking about reducing my time on part-time job so I can take on arts more seriously. Maybe i should've done that since the beginning but I was loss with the path I picked back then.
I also wanted to ask my family, friends and my followers too if I should spend less time on art for stability, or spend more time on building my art-related income. I know if I pick the earlier, I'm going to be gradually miserable but that's only the possibility. Some might suggest to find other job too but I'm still hesitate about it (especially if I need to commute further compared to ten minutes walking).
It just... nothing much changed since I vow to commit on it. Maybe taking risk again would be only way now? The last time I fully committed to living with arts was during the pandemic (and I was simply lucky because my brother helped me on bills). I totally must do something on second half of this year.
Just around this month I decided to take on one path and I want to see how much I'm able to progress until end of this year. I know my art skills need more improvement and I'm still learning myself and from others. And from now on, I want to reassess and set up new goal so I can comfortably making arts for living like before.
If you've been supporting me since the day you discovered me, I want to say thank you for your support and I strongly appreciate it. I want to keep going despite how hard I have to struggle again so I can reach the place of peace I still longing. It's going to be difficult but I already got the vision on what I wanna do next.
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